I was born a unicorn

So last night, Chelsea picked me up and told me she had a surprise for me. COOL DUDE. I like surprises. Good surprises anyways. (I'd prob be pretty pissed if I found out I was pregnant or some shit) When she picked me up, we were only on the road for 2 minutes because we drove up into Eve's driveway. I was like "Ah cool! We're hanging out with Eve!"

It's been so long.

We were hanging out in her kitchen and Eve was like "We have a surprise for you." when somebody came running down the stairs and started playing keys in the other room. I was hesitant at first. "Wtf?" I didn't know what this damn surprise would be >_> haha

So I went into the other room, and there, playing the piano, was ANDY! Fuck, kid. I haven't seen him in ages. I gave him a huge hug. Dude, Eve and Andy were my BEST friends before I went in the hospital. It was so surreal hanging out with them. I used to go to Eve's house every single day. It was my home away from home. Especially when I was hating what my parents had to say to me. I fucking loved these kids so much.

So we hung out. And it was awesome.

And I've reluctantly decided to stop smoking too. (This was put on hold because of the situation. Hanging out with Andy and Eve was definitely something to celebrate because I haven't in so long.) I told my parents I would stop smoking and willingly take drug tests if they agreed to some things. I told them straight out I would stop smoking if they:

let me hang out with whoever
whenever(reasonably) 12-1 am usually
GET COMPLETELY OFF MY ASS
and let me sleepover places

So I've stopped smoking basically. Only because they're SO FUCKING HORRIBLE. I hate living in my house. Here are my reasons:

-my house is FILLED to the brim with shit. My mom is an almost clinically insane hoarder. Seriously. It's horrible. I can't bring people over to the house. It's embarassing. There's fucking sticky notes ALL OVER my house. With things written on them like "Close the door if the air conditioning is on!" and "Doctors: 2:00! DONT FORGET!!!!" and then there are fucking books EVERYWHERE. My house looks like a warzone. That pretty much explains it.

-My Dad is crazy. He loves me way too much. It's scary. I'm the only reason he has to live right now. He pretty much hates my brother and mom. And his family is 10,000 miles away. I feel bad for him sometimes. He really needs to let go of me though. Its absolutely impossible for him to even fall asleep until I'm in my room. It's wierd, he has unusually strong father-senses. During the summer, my neighbors always ask me if I want to go for a late-night walk, but I can't. Are you kidding me? I would have to pull some kind of elaborate fucking escape to get out of my house without him knowing.

-My dog is a bitch and eats everything. He got into the kitchen once and ate a whole thing of cheese danish. It was hugenormous. Probably like friggen 4x12. I don't know if he did, but I hope he was miserable with the shits soooooo bad. Bastard. He's so goddamn cute though.


-My brother is alright. I don't mind living with him. I wouldn't actually want to live with him on his own though. He's so fricken lazy and I'd end up the one who did everything if I wanted anything done. The only real problem with my brother is the fights he has with my parents. GOD DAMNIT. JUST STFU. Whenever he is home, there is going to be some sort of screaming or slamming of doors. He has really bad anger and anxiety issues too. I feel bad for him.

-My parents are constantly on my ass. One time I was normally just leaving my house and all of a sudden my dad stepped in and fucking blocked the door. He was stopping me from opening the door. wtf? He was fucking blocking the door? So he could GRILL me. That's the biggest reason for me stopping smoking. Im sick of being GRILLED. It's painful talking to my parents. I can't stand it sometimes. And they don't understand it when I become defensive if they're being out of the question obnoxious. ONCE, my mom found a pre-paid phone box in my trash. (Because she goes through my trash? why? o_O) It was from when my friend used my computer to set up her new phone. My mom came into my room one day, with the box in hand, and said "What's this?" in THAT tone of voice. THAT tone. That horrible tone that makes me want to kill someone. Half of what pisses me off is the tone of voice she uses when she talks.

So I've stopped smoking. Because I want FREEDOM. and I'm fucking sick of listening to my parents bitch. I can't wait to go to college. That's a whole other story though. (I'm having a wicked hard time with getting my portfolio together and I'm scared I don't have enough :\ I should just go into nursing. Like so many other women in my family.)



This is scary. I actually wrote a blog entry. I haven't done that in forever. What is wrong with me?

Why am I awake at 1:45, fervently writing a blog entry? Oh yeah, caffeine. I forgot Dr. Pepper had caffeine.